you will outgrow something that was once a comfort;

funniest ask ive ever received on my 10 years of this website

ok bye for real! im off to get super high and keep living my best life. love you all so much. sending you all the good vibes in the universe. give life everything you’ve got. you were put here for a reason. to live, and live well. get out there and get to it!

hell to it, here’s some quick advice from me (someone who hurt a lot of people with his untreated BPD, and has since gotten help and has reached a point where his BPD no longer affects his life) to you (someone who has untreated BPD):

• do not let your brain normalise the concept of ‘a favourite person’
• yes, our disorder will often make us fixate on ONE person in particular, but this is not charming or sweet (in most cases). you cannot put all your emotional needs onto one person. they are a person too, with their own struggles and emotions, and you cannot burden them with yours, too. it is not healthy for either of you.
• rigid schedules are unhealthy. but if your disorder compels you, please try your hardest to keep them exclusive to YOU.
• you cannot try to control other peoples schedules without being a manipulative, toxic presence in their life. your disorder will desperately try to strictly organise life. you need to try and make sure you’re keeping this to your own tasks, appointments, etc. people cannot centre their lives around you and its unfair to ask them. you cannot get repeatedly upset at people just for living their lives.
• in the height of splitting, the last thing you’ll want to do is step back. it’ll feel like dying. but please, you must try. 
• in the height of splitting, the act of stepping away will feel impossible, or your brain will literally tell you you will die. sometimes, therapy is the only thing that will help you with this. but if you can, start now. do whatever you can to take a break from the argument, to step away from the person you’re splitting on. even 5 minutes away will make your brain calm down a tiny bit.
• acknowledge that life is harder for you, but try anyway. your disorder is not an excuse to hurt the people around you.
• living with BPD is hard. our emotions are overwhelming to the point that they drown us. life, for us, is hard. you, surviving BPD, is a grand feat. but this does not give you the right to leave your behaviour unchecked, to harm the people you love, to manipulate them with your emotions in order to satisfy your disorder. its not okay just because you have BPD. you are still obligated to try your hardest to be kind to others, and to leave them happier than you found them. do not subscribe to toxic positivity that tells you you can hurt the people you love because you ‘can’t help it.’ accidents will happen. emotions are unpredictable. but you must never stop trying, and you must always be trying your hardest to be kind, even if that means removing yourself from people and situations at your own detriment. 

there is a life ‘outside’ of being borderline. through hard work, CBT + DBT, therapy, self-reflection and the right medication, i can confidently say my borderline no longer affects my life apart from a few rare flare ups when my general mental health is poor. and i used to be truly terrible. 

work hard. your disorder will not control your life forever. you’ll get there.

FYI if any mutuals on here would like to stay in contact w me (since the only social media i now have is a locked twitter account) just DM me or whatever and i can give you my discord tag, im still around but i do not use social media anymore bcos of how bad it was for my mental health & i never want to let myself get as bad as i used to be. attention is a hell of a drug and it really makes you an asshole. im happy to no longer be an asshole and not having a social media presence is a big factor in that.

so yeah, mutuals can ask for discord tag if you guys wanna stay in contact. i will still likely pop here every few months or so for life updates but for the most part i now live off-the-grid social media wise and spend my time working on myself so i can be the best person i can, and so that i can do nothing but touch other peoples lives with kindness & help, to make up for anyone i may have hurt in the past w my, yknow, untreated BPD, etc. all that.

anyway. be good to yourselves. love you all. never stop growing and bettering yourself. that’s what we’re put on this earth to do, baby!

baku:

hiiiiii im gonna be starting T and more than likely getting top surgery by the end of this year. thats it thats the entire post!

fyi im like 23 years old and ill be 24 by the time T + top surgery happens. so like. if there are any 18-whatever year old trans kids out there feeling bad about being ‘behind’ their peers or you feel like everyone else is getting hormones + surgery before you. its fine. its not a race. im way older than you guys and its only just happening for me now. 

i don’t feel bad about it at all. waiting until my early twenties if anything has just helped me feel a lot more concrete in my male identify and has made me certain that this is what i want, what will be good for me, and i feel very prepared to face the possible side-effects, complications, etc. i would not be ready for those things at 18.

TL:DR; transitioning is not a race. i’ll be 24 by the time i have top surgery + T. its okay to take your time and make sure that you’re ready. its better if you do.

hiiiiii im gonna be starting T and more than likely getting top surgery by the end of this year. thats it thats the entire post!

i hate you

He’s a chihuahua! :>

💖 thank you nonny

also since i haven’t yet posted pictures of him, say hi to my new puppy wolfie! 

hi

bamyasi:

but you are an entire universe and i am a bigger cooler universe where everyone skateboards

(Source: gnastygnorc)

apparently tumblr is picking up again lol but the question is: do i have the energy to be here again

obligatory once-monthly life update 

• my new reason to live is HANNIBAL, consider me will graham obsessed. ill post pics here of my hannibal tattoo when i get it. someone tell covid to fuck off so i can hurry up and brand my obsession on myself
• my T appointment is december 8th (so close!)
• might be getting a new puppy soon… stay tuned…
• im still extremely attractive (proof above)
• i’m very excited to go to university soon and study for my masters : )

love you all, hope ur keeping well. enjoy my mask selfie. 

lol i dont really use tumblr anymore but i just wanted to share the news here,  guess who has an appointment on the 8th of december to meet with a doctor about starting testosterone🥳🥳